Fun. Feisty. Fabulous guest Clete Bulach works mainly with school-aged kids, specifically on issues involving school climate and culture. He deals with issues like bullying, character, demographics, and leadership. It shouldn’t be surprising that a lot of his research applies to adults as well.
On this episode, he spoke about needs and power. Neither of which are what you would usually expect. Let’s look at what Clete outlines as the five basic needs. Once these needs are met, success and security follow. If even one of these needs is lacking frustration, resentment and general unhappiness will occur.
The five basic needs are
There are some basic needs to be met just to live. Housing, food, medical care are essential to Acourhungry or don’t have access to shelter, Consistent sources of food and shelter solve a very basic human need.
Consider this. Infants thrive on being held and cooed to. When children are abandoned, there are actually volunteers that come in just to hold and love on these babies. This doesn’t change as we reach adulthood. Feeling that someone cares about us makes a huge difference. It could be family, friends or even a Higher Power but everyone needs to feel as if someone cares for them. Oten a part of depression and suicide arises from a feeling of isolation and lack of caring (I know I felt this way before my attempted suicide).
This does not mean controlling and manipulating other people. Control, in this case, means you have a sense of control over your life. You aren’t a marionette with someone pulling your strings. You are an autonomous human being. While you can’t control everything there are some things you can control. You control where you work, how you spend your time, who you date or marry, if you get a divorce, and so much more. A life lacking in control leads to feelings of helplessness and a ‘why bother’ attitude.
What is your purpose? We all have one (probably more). As a parent, your purpose is to raise your children. As an entrepreneur, it is to have a profitable business. As a podcast host, it is to deliver a quality product and grow your audience through the product you deliver. Purpose is a huge motivating factor. My purpose at my day job is two-fold, to do the work and to make the money I need to live and to pursue my interest. So, what is your purpose(s)?
What makes someone happy changes from person to person but spending time on those things that make you happy is critical. Spending time with family and friends is often a source of happiness. It may sound corny but having your health or addressing your health issues can increase your happiness. It’s hard to be happy when you are ill or fatigued. Spending time on things you enjoy increases your happiness. Sure, I’m happy when I’m podcasting and working on my podcast, but cooking is another source of happiness for me. Lacking the other four needs: life, caring, control and purpose also has a direct effect on your happiness.
Clete, Jean and Karyn had a fascinating discussion of basic needs, how those needs can be met and what happens when they aren’t.
For more information on Clete Bulach: https://www.westga.edu/~cbulach
Listen to the On Human Relationships episode.
Got ITunes? Listen to Be the Tortoise Not the Hare on the Fun. Feisty. Fabulous! podcast page.