In the era of Me Too!, R. Kelly and Michael Jackson, it is easy to paint men as the enemy. However, Mike Domitrz, of the Date Safe Project, think men (and women) need to be educated to overcome some societal norms that should be anything but normal. In the heat of the moment, lines can be blurred and signals can get crossed. So, we discuss what can be done to clear the air and make our intentions known. Believe it or not, asking for permission can be sexy!
Before this interview, I always considered asking for a kiss to be boring, clinical and a definite mood damper. I used to think of it this way. We are starting a fire. The kindling is going. Flames are starting and just as soon as we start to get a good, hot fire going, a bucket of cold water gets thrown on it, completely dousing the fire.
But in talking with Mike, he explained how asking for a kiss can stoke the fire. Yes, stating your intentions and boundaries are always a good (and necessary) think but it can be done in a way that keeps things steamy and actually stokes the fire.
Intentions, boundaries, power dynamics, a lot is involved, not just in a kiss but in a touch or even in a potentially sexual situation. Each situation is different, and each person is different. What seems harmless to one person can be a trigger for someone else. So, there is always a need to be clear and to respect boundaries.
Respecting boundaries makes sense, but when people have been raised to think that no means yes, little boys hit you when they like you, persistence pays off, it is no wonder why we need projects like Date Safe to teach a new way of thinking.
Listen to Date Safe!
Got iTunes? Visit the Fun. Feisty. Fabulous channel