What does it mean to date with intention? Honestly, I never really thought about it until guest Dr. Mekel Harris explained it. We talked about balancing dating with career. Most of us are dedicated to career pursuits because, frankly, we get results from the work we put in, but often we don’t apply the same dedication and tenacity to our dating life where are results probably haven’t been as consistent.
Dating with intention means putting in the effort and the work, just like you would for a job. For some reason, we expect to work for our professional lives. We know that nothing will happen if we don’t work for it. Personally, we have all grown up hearing that we should “wait for the right guy”, “when you aren’t looking, love will come,” and that love “just happens”.
All that advice is subtly telling us that we don’t have to put effort into love and relationships, they just sort of magically happen. If I told you that the job you want or the promotion you’re after will just magically fall into your lap. If you are starting a business, forget about advertising, marketing and networking, customers will just show up. You can stop laughing now.
Dating with intention means that we work towards what we want. So what does that look like?
- Make a list not just of what you are looking for but what you have to offer someone else.
- Set aside time to pursue your dating goals.
- Dedicate time and invest in one or two online dating sites
- Take or find recent photos that show you at your best
- Spend time writing a compelling profile
- Dedicate time to looking through profiles, connecting with and responding to inquiries
- Determine where people you’d like to date would be
- What activities would both of you enjoy participating in?
- Spend time going where you’d both like to go
You know how to put in the work. You know how to get results. Isn’t it time to apply what has worked so well for you professionally to your personal life?
Jean, Mekel and I had a great time talking about the challenges of dating in your forties and beyond. I think you’d enjoy listening.