As someone who has never been married, I have nothing but myths and opinions to go on when it comes to marriage. Being completely frank, from the outside, the institution doesn’t come across very well. Family? Gotta have it. Parenthood? Everyone needs to do it. Marriage? Meh.
Think about it. Men are told, from a young age, to avoid it. Women are often told to expect a happy ever after (after an audacious wedding). I hear from divorced friends not to do it. I hear from others it is a vestige of an archaic and patriarchal system. People are quick to share their marital horror stories; always told as a cautionary tale.
The statistic we always hear is that 50% of marriages end in divorce. But the inverse of that is true as well. 50% of marriages don’t end in divorce. Crazy thought here: is it possible that of those 50% that remain married, some are actually happy? Maybe some don’t live in regret. Maybe some unions aren’t filled with chronic cheating and/or abuse. Maybe it is possible that there aren’t married couples buried in boredom and ennui.
Personally, I think divorce stats are skewed anyway. They include all of the people who should have never been married in the first place. You know the ones. There are the ones who expected a wedding ring to change his/her negative behavior. The ones who argued, fought and cursed daily but somehow thought marriage was a good idea. The ones who wanted to plan an expensive, audacious wedding, but put a fraction of the time they put into the wedding on the marriage that would follow. Anyway, I digress …
Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo have the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast and they challenge the many negative notions surrounding modern-day marriage. Together for over 20 years, they have faced loss, debt, addiction and much more. However, their commitment has not only helped them weather the storms but has help their marriage grow and thrive.
So when they say, “A great marriage is made of two people who continuously put their vows ahead of their feelings,” they know what they are talking about. It’s more than just words. It is action and truth. You don’t have to be married to regret acting out of emotion only to find that maybe you overreacted or acted too hastily.
Commitment gets a bad rap and it shouldn’t. Commitment in work, in health and in relationships is what makes the difference. Just ask anyone who has risen to heights in their career, lost a lot of weight or had an extraordinary marriage!