For a lot of people, instead of overcoming obstacles, they waste valuable time trying to find a way around them or to avoid them all together. The problem is that the only way to get over it is to go over it. As a wise woman once told me, the only way to get through it is to go through it.
Dhylles Victoria knows a lot about overcoming. She has overcome a childhood of sexual abuse. She came to terms with her sexuality and accepting herself as a gay woman. After a life-changing (and almost life-ending) medical experience, she decided to help others confront and overcome their own issues.
A critical turning point for Dhylles came when she wrote a 10-page letter to her abuser. She never got a response and that is okay. The purpose of the letter wasn’t to get an apology or acknowledgement from him. The purpose was to work through her own issues and to get out her thoughts and some things she needed to say. It was a purging she needed to do in order to forgive.
A lot of people think forgiveness hinges on the other person. Nothing could be further from the truth. When our ability to forgive relies on the other person’s actions, then the other person still has the control and the power. When we control how we think, what we say to ourselves and our decision to forgive, then we put the power exactly where it belongs, in our own hands.
Other people matter. We care about them. We appreciate them. But we need to stop short of letting their thoughts and opinions of us determine our thoughts, actions and decisions.
Jean and I had a really engaging and provocative discussion about changing our lives through the power of forgiveness and overcoming obstacles.
Listen to The Art of Overcoming
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