Fun. Feisty. Fabulous! Guest and Guest Blogger
At some point along this road, we get super annoyed. It’s been weeks, months, or years and we STILL are struggling with the same damn thing? When you’re super frustrated about your lack of progress, remind yourself of these 4 things!
1. The Purpose of Life Isn’t To “Get There”
This one still trips me up. I want to be “farther along” in SO many areas of my life: in my business, in new friendships, in my body acceptance. I want to hurry everything up…
- Can’t I make friends faster in my new city?!
- When will be business get “there”?!
- When will I be a published author already?!
But the purpose of our life isn’t to arrive at the end. (I remind myself of this at least 40 times a week.)
Life is to be LIVED. And living means experiencing emotions. It means there will be ups and downs, joys and sorrows. There will be amazing periods and really challenging periods.
There is no end to get to. Because every experience you have will always lead to something else.
Can you let go of the need to be somewhere else on your journey? And be open to where you are right now?
So much of our struggle is resisting where we are. Let go of that resistance and shifts are bound to happen.
2. Everything Has A Gestation Period
Innately, we know this. It takes 9 months to grow a baby. A new relationship can take years to develop into a marriage. Learning a language typically requires months of immersion or years of classes.
Everything in life is a process. And just like the unfolding of a relationship, the learning curve of a language, or the development of a baby, there is a gestation period in learning to stop dieting, let go of binging and love our bodies. This path is chaotic, messy and often times frustrating.
But if you trust that you have your own gestation period and you have your own timeline that’s unfolding in perfect order, then it’s easier to trust in the process of getting to the “other side”.
3. Every Single Struggle Contains A Lesson
About 5 years into getting help with my food issues, I had a breakdown. I had spent 5 YEARS in and out of therapy, working on myself, learning to let go of dieting, trying to stop binging…and I thought I had made some serious progress. Except that when I broke up with my then-boyfriend, it sent me back into a lot of old habits of obsessing over my body, restricting and fixating on losing weight.
And I had a breakdown. I sobbed uncontrollably for a month. I binged like you would not even believe. My weight spiral out of control. I began an outpatient program at the Renfrew Center (an 8-week group program for women struggling with disordered eating). I was PISSED.
It had been 5 years and this is where I was progress-wise?! But that dark hole changed my entire life.
From the emotional work I did in the group program, I realized I was deeply unhappy in my job. It allowed a hidden desire to arise that I had been suppressing for a long time: I wanted to move back abroad to work and travel. That big breakdown led to a huge breakthrough.
Every single struggle, obstacle and dark time contains within it the seed of a lesson. Whether it’s learning more self-love & compassion, uncovering a desire you didn’t know you had, deepening your acceptance of yourself, or hearing some other message life is asking you to receive, there is a lesson.
Can you be open & curious about what you’re meant to be learning?
4. It IS All Working Out For You (Even When It Doesn’t Look Like It!)
There have probably been 17 billion times in my life when I wondered why something didn’t “work out” for me.
- The job I first applied for in Colorado that I was PERFECT for but didn’t get…
- The guy who suddenly didn’t want to date me after 9 months of being together…
- The weight I gained a few years ago after I’d been stable for so long…
- The online course I launched and relaunched that kept “failing”…
At the time, I kicked, screamed, and cried about how life was unfair and moaned about how angry and upset I was.
In retrospect, they all didn’t work out because something else better DID work out. If I had gotten that job, I never would have started a business. If that guy didn’t break up with me, I wouldn’t have met my soon-to-be-husband.
If I hadn’t gained weight, I wouldn’t have known my life & body were seriously out of balance. If the online course had succeeded, I wouldn’t have launched the Normal Eaters Club (and my favorite part of my business!).
When you’re in something that’s not happening fast enough or that isn’t working out like you think it should, it’s easy to get frustrated from our limited perspective. But take a deep breath, pause and remind yourself that we actually don’t know what’s best for us.
We may THINK we know, but what if you believed that when something didn’t work out, it just meant that something better was coming along?
Listen to the Be the Tortoise, Not the Hare episode.
Got ITunes? Listen to Be the Tortoise Not the Hare on the Fun. Feisty. Fabulous! podcast page.